Monday, July 4, 2011

UPDATE: 30 days of love making

i wanted to give you all an honest update about our 30 days of love making. and just to forewarn any male readers... there is some personal "lady stuff" in here so maybe you should skip this one. 

my husband read my blog before Father's Day and found out about his gift before i even gave it to him. one of the downsides of putting it out there for all to see. i didn't really mind because i knew he would appreciate it. as you've read in past posts, we are currently in San Diego, away from home, because my husband's band is leading worship for a high school camp. read: crazy hours, living in a dorm, super busy and tired. guess what? the camp started on Father's Day. the challenges awaited us. 

there were a couple nights that i waited up for him waayyyyy past my bedtime, and due to the thin walls it was a struggle to engage in the intimacy of it all. we're not trying to freak out the other staff members of the camp! but we were committed and willing to work through the kinks. then, "aunt martha" came for a visit, after just a short 4 days into the challenge. per my husbands request, we decided to take a break until that time passed. because, let's face it... it's not the best time for either of us. 

shortly after i was in the clear, he had to fly back up to Fresno for two days to lead worship at our church.  so that brings us to today. we haven't really discussed it but i think we're just going to start over. or maybe make a rule that we both have to be ready. i know i wanted it to be 30 days in a row, but i also don't want it to be forced. the whole point of the gift was that i would being giving him my heart, and mind, in preparation of love making. that i wouldn't refuse him, no matter how tired i am, or any other reason i could find to not do it. my goal is to safe guard our marriage by fulfilling that need in him, and in turn i think we will be drawn closer to each other as a result of both our needs being met. 

so for now... this is where we are. my heart is ready. and i think that he feels more loved because of that.

i was very encouraged to get several emails from people who were willing to do the challenge with me, and several others from people who weren't willing just yet but were headed in that direction. i would still love to hear from you, any thoughts that you might have about this. 

i hope, if nothing else, that you would be encouraged by my honesty in this matter. so many people are walking through their marriage struggling through their intimate relationship and feel so alone. i know i was one of them. 



  1. this is a fantastic idea tara! something i am definitely willing to do (although I am generally the one who wants it all the time).
    hpwever, i might have to put it off a bit bc of my week long trip to chicago without him.
    oh wait! it'll make a great birthday gift, since i get back the day before his birthday. YAY!

  2. tara, first, i miss you and need to visit.. second, i am beyond encouraged and humbled by your honesty and your willingness to serve your husband in the way that he feels the most loved, to offer yourself so selflessly.. you're just incredible.


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