i have a secret

only a handful of people know. it's just a little one. but it's big to me. i've been keeping it under wraps because i'm trying to keep my excitement under control, you know... just in case. 

*deep breath* ok, here i go... WE'RE IN ESCROW!!! 

yep, it's true. we are. but anything can happen so i am not fully allowing my heart to get all cozy in a new house, or work out every detail... until every detail is worked out. 

but i am a little excited. and one way of knowing is by taking a closer look at my Pinterest boards. i have wanted to own a home for probably my whole life, and if not that long, at least as long as we've been married. 

i can't help myself, so i'm going to let you in on the little ideas i have for some changes to eventually be made, Lord willing. for this post i will show you the existing kitchen and breakfast area and some of my inspiration for it.

view from the breakfast area

the home was purchased by investors so they put all new tile in the entryway, kitchen, and laundry room. it's very nice but i would love to have hardwood floors one day. the kitchen is smaller than our existing rental property, so i will have to be strategic with my organization. i love the white cabinets and inset ceiling. another thing to change, way down the line, would be the counter tops. not my fav. but they work just fine.

view from the formal dining room

 one thing i would love to experiment with that would cost almost no money, and i think would open up the tight space of the kitchen, would be to take all the top cabinet doors off and leave them open. i could either paint the inside or add bead board to the back. depends on funds. 

it also would be nice to remove the existing cabinets over the bar to open it up into the family room, but that would take away so much precious storage. 

breakfast area, view from the family room.

see what i mean about those cabinets blocking off the kitchen from the bar? 

i do love the bead board along the wall of the breakfast area. we only have one dining room table, and it's a biggin' (8-seater rectangular table) so that will have to go in the formal dining room. eventually i would like to put benches in along the corner of the breakfast area to make it more nook-y and get a round pedestal table and chairs to allow for more seating and added storage. another thing that would be nice would be to remove the pantry and extend the counter area, but then where would i put all my nuts and berries? 

ok, so here is what i found on Pinterest. the possibilities are endless and i LOVE the inspirations. eek! i know the pictures are small, but you get the idea. 

via

love the colors and the butcher block counters. i also like the idea of adding a shelf over the sink, but there is a window over our sink and i can't remember how far up it goes. might not be room. this whole kitchen is a dream.

via

i like the little brackets under the cabinets and the touches of green.

via

 this just makes my inner organizer so happy. so so happy. 

via

big, big dream... that will take a long while to save for... antique glass subway tile back splash. drool. (i wouldn't mind a new set of white enamel cookware either!)

via

 nook: cute old oval table, blue chairs. i like the EAT letters too. benches flanked with pantry cabinets, solution? 

via

 LOVE this table. but not in this color. i also love the shades. if i did a colored table instead of colored chairs i like the idea of getting some woven banana leaf chairs, or wicker? 

elana banana leaf chair 2 for $119

via

 shelves above the windows in the corner? or too busy? I LOVE SERENA & LILY PILLOWS!

via

 i also love striped bench cushions. 

dudes. my style is all over the place. someone help. 

ok, now the cat is out of the bag. we are holding this house with an open hand. we only want it if it is the Lord's will and if something comes up (like the in ground pool in the backyard (!) will make our water or gas bill $500... or the inspection uncovers a need for all new plumbing) then we are content with still renting... even if it is noisy. 

are you excited? well, stop it. 

eek!

tara

what we wore wednesday, which was yesterday

man, i have been a busy lady lately. this is part of the reason i am posting "what we wore wednesday" today. 

i was recently asked to create wedding invitations for 3 weddings (!!!), all pretty close together. i am now two down one to go... but it's been consuming all my time. i'm not complaining, but i'll be glad when i finish numero tres. mostly because my computer has been giving me problems. its so old its not worth upgrading, but we are not in a position to buy a new one... so i think it will be wise for me to take a break on invitations until we can save up enough to get a new computer. i'm totally bummed because i have TONS of Christmas card designs swirling around in my head.... boo. Costco photo cards for us this year.

 i'm thankful for what i do have, and also the time to focus more on figuring out what to do with all the paperwork my son comes home from school with everyday! that alone is a full time job! sheesh.

blah, blah, blah... i was totally just ranting. sorry! 

i have been feeling the need to resurrect "what we wore wednesday" for a couple weeks now. um, right about the same time i got a pinterest account! i love it. it sucks all my time up but now i know how to be more stylish with clothes i already had. 

photo by big A

the scarf in my hair is from a garage sale i went to recently. i think i paid 50 cents. i have been collecting scarves lately for my mentor. she is currently undergoing chemotherapy for ovarian cancer and i thought a nice way to serve her was in helping her stay fashionable, even with no hair. this particular scarf is pretty small, i don't think she would get too much coverage out of it. i love my new messy bun hairstyle, its so easy when its day number 5 that i haven't washed my hair and i can't do anything with it! i was inspired by this hair tutorial. i'm also wearing a navy blue shirt from TJ Maxx and cut off jeans. my shoes (not seen here) are tan cork wedges from Target. 

photo by little a

big A "Cut-A-Diamond Boy" (he likes to make up his own superhero names now) is wearing his beloved Transformers t-shirt and some vibrant plaid shorts. along with that he chose his navy blue chucks and a stick sword. um, and a sweet pose. as usual. also, an intense face. i HAVE GOT to get this boy into some kind of acting, he's ALWAYS in character. always. 

this little missy is wearing her Enchanted Princess t-shirt and a hand me down velvet skirt. flip flops from Old Navy. she also "fixed" her own hair today. and this is her "frozen from twirling" pose. nice. 

when i first started posting about what we wear i did it to aid in my losing control over unimportant things. (also, to document the ridiculous outfits they picked out to embarrass them later as adults. what?) and one thing i've discovered is that we're all happier in the morning because there aren't battles over what to wear... but also, my kids know how to dress themselves. crazy. no embarrassing childhood photos here. 

sorry future me. 

love,

tara

my giant family

 for Christmas 2010 we gifted our entire family with a photography session with Jackie Wonders. we really wanted to give something lasting and thought this would be perfect. so in February of this year we made a trip down to San Diego and gathered everyone together in a little field and make Jackie, who was pregnant at the time, huff and puff while we did 445645684567 family arrangements for pictures. 

let me prepare you by saying that there will be A LOT of pictures. my husband and i both come from divorced parents. both of his parents are remarried, and my dad is remarried. you won't see my real mom in any of these pictures because she is not a big part of my life. being from broken homes has had it's great struggles over the years, and also many blessings. while there is a lot of love... there is also a lot of pain. we are not perfect, but God's strength is made perfect through our weakness (2 cor 12:9). and just like i said yesterday about God knowing what he was doing when he made me my daughter's mother, he also knew what he was doing when he placed each and every one of these people into our lives... and us into theirs. 

and we love them. 

FAMILY: 

my husband's side

my side

an EPIC picture of my giant family

 INDIVIDUAL FAMILIES:

my sister and her boyfriend

my sister's family and my brother

my husband's sister and brother-in-law

husband's sister's family

i like this one too

my dad and stepmom; my parents. 

stepparents are a gift straight from the Lord above. 

i don't know where i'd be without their constant prayer and support. 

not just a couple, but proud parents

my husband's mom and stepdad. 

i like this one.

i like this one too.

my husband's dad and stepmom.

this is a good one.

 GROUPS: 

all the men on my side

all the men on my husband's side

all the woman on my side

all the woman on my husband's side


GRANDPARENTS:

 SIBLINGS: 

 COUSINS:

i love my nieces

 and...

my brother!

these pictures will be treasured, forever. 

channeling a Britney song...

...something along the lines of, "she drive me CRAZY"! 

fits. everyday. every time i'm preparing food. EVERY. DAY.

first off... i want you to know that i love my daughter something fierce! she is an answered prayer and a perfect fit in our family. she is sweet and soft spoken, and rough and boisterous all at the same time. secondly, you should know that you should not be fooled by her sweet little face... she is crazytown. she is super strong willed and will explode if you even think about telling her "NO". 

tear stained face

i love her. i love her. i love her. 

i also struggle with her, beyond words. it's a wrestle in my heart on a moment by moment basis. i want so badly to have a sweet relationship with her that will be lasting, even into adolescence. beyond that even. i know it can be done, i've seen it. and i know that the hard work must be done now. i'm super thankful for friends who have travelled this road and give me wisdom on how to deal with her. it's just REALLY. HARD. 

she always wants to hold my hand, even while we're eating.

sometimes i wonder if i put too much pressure on our relationship because i want it to be more than what i had with my mom. sometimes i wonder if it's just a phase and she will snap out of it. sometimes i have terrible thoughts that it will last forever and i will snap. 

girls night out. 

one thing i know for sure is that God knew what he was doing when he made me her mom and she my daughter. so i am thankful for her and i cling to Him during these hard stages. she needs me. she needs me to delight in her, encourage her, discipline her. teach her how to be a wife, how to be with her own daughter someday. 

He knows what she needs better than i do. He knows what i need better than i do. if i don't cling to Him i will be lost. all i want is what's best for her. even if it's hard work. 

but tonight, she's in bed, and i will be soon because, i'm tired. 

tara