...something along the lines of, "she drive me CRAZY"!
|fits. everyday. every time i'm preparing food. EVERY. DAY.|
first off... i want you to know that i love my daughter something fierce! she is an answered prayer and a perfect fit in our family. she is sweet and soft spoken, and rough and boisterous all at the same time. secondly, you should know that you should not be fooled by her sweet little face... she is crazytown. she is super strong willed and will explode if you even think about telling her "NO".
|tear stained face|
i love her. i love her. i love her.
i also struggle with her, beyond words. it's a wrestle in my heart on a moment by moment basis. i want so badly to have a sweet relationship with her that will be lasting, even into adolescence. beyond that even. i know it can be done, i've seen it. and i know that the hard work must be done now. i'm super thankful for friends who have travelled this road and give me wisdom on how to deal with her. it's just REALLY. HARD.
|she always wants to hold my hand, even while we're eating.|
sometimes i wonder if i put too much pressure on our relationship because i want it to be more than what i had with my mom. sometimes i wonder if it's just a phase and she will snap out of it. sometimes i have terrible thoughts that it will last forever and i will snap.
|girls night out.|
one thing i know for sure is that God knew what he was doing when he made me her mom and she my daughter. so i am thankful for her and i cling to Him during these hard stages. she needs me. she needs me to delight in her, encourage her, discipline her. teach her how to be a wife, how to be with her own daughter someday.
He knows what she needs better than i do. He knows what i need better than i do. if i don't cling to Him i will be lost. all i want is what's best for her. even if it's hard work.
but tonight, she's in bed, and i will be soon because, i'm tired.